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The Rational MaleRollo TomassiThe Rational Male, first edition copyright © 2013 Rollo Tomassi.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior permission of the publisher and author.ISBN: 1492777862ISBN - 13: 978-1492777861Published by Counterflow Media LLC, NevadaDesign and layout by Rollo Tomassi.The BasicsThere is no ONE 3The Cardinal Rule of Relationships 8Truth to Power 9 The Desire Dynamic 13Imagination 14Schedules of Mating 16Buffers 20Compensation 22Alpha 25Defining Alpha 27The Origins of Alpha 30The Contextual Alpha 33Plate TheoryPlate Theory I – Abundance & Scarcity 40Plate Theory II –Non-Exclusivity 43Plate Theory III – Transitioning 47Plate Theory IV – Goal-State Monogamy 52Plate Theory V – Lady’s Game 55Plate Theory VI – Scarcity to Abundance 58Plugged InAFC – Average Frustrated Chump 63Playing Friends 65Letting Go of Invisible Friends 68Enter White Knight 70The Honor System 72The Savior Schema 74Inter-gender Friendship 76UnpluggingDispelling the Magic 83 Identity Crisis 85Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite 88Kill the Beta 90Appreciation 95Dream Killers 98Have A Look 101The Five Stages of Unplugging 103
The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill 104GameThe Evolution of Game 111Rewriting the Rules 117Navigating the SMP 120Just Be Yourself 125The Nice Guy - Jerk Spectrum 128Beta Game 131The Pheromonal Beta 134Dread Games 138The Meta Game 141CommunicationThe Medium is the Message 147Just Get It 151Dijo Sin Hablar 154The Horse’s Mouth 155Qualities of the Prince 157Social ConventionsOperative Social Conventions 165AFC Social Conventions 170The Paradox of Commitment 174Bitter Misogynists 176HypergamyThe Disposables 183War Brides 186Mrs. Hyde 188Hypergamy Doesn’t Care 192Relational Equity 194The Hypergamy Conspiracy 197Women & Regret 200The Pet 202The Iron Rules of TomassiIron Rule I 209Iron Rule II 212Iron Rule III 214Iron Rule IV 219Iron Rule V 221Iron Rule VI 224Iron Rule VII 228Iron Rule VIII 229Iron Rule IX 232
MythologyThe Myth of the Lonely Old Man 239The Myth of Women & Sex 241The Myth of the ‘Good Girl’ 244The Myth of the Biological Clock 247The Myth of Male Looks 249The Myth of Feminine SMV 253Of Love and War 257The Feminine ImperativeThe Feminine Reality 265The Feminine Mystique 270The Wall 272The Threat 275Positive Masculinity vs.
Equalism 278AfterwordContentsIntroductionIn January of 2001 I was entering a state university for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 32.My relatively late-life enrollment was the result of a what I believed then was a misspent youth and Iwas atoning for the indiscretions of what I call my ‘rock star’ 20’s. I had a lot of catching up to do thanks to the decisions I’d made in my early and mid-twenties and asense of incompleteness that I felt at the time.In hindsight I’m glad I did return to school, better late than never, because I was learning the intrinsicvalue of an education. I can remember listening to the grumblings of guys in my class who were tenyears my junior saying, “What the hell do I need to learn this shit for? It won’t help me in the job I’mstudying for.?
?? I suppose I might’ve felt the same way at 22 if I hadn’t been more concerned withplaying the next gig in the next band I was in on a weekend in Hollywood. I could never haveappreciated the value of being an educated person. While a good job is definitely a concrete goal ofbettering oneself, being educated, on a great many subjects, and learning how to learn, is its ownreward.Although I didn’t attend a ‘liberal arts university’ per se, my degree is in fine art.
However afterhaving worked in design, advertising, marketing and branding throughout my professional life I knewthat my minor (if later a double major) had to be in psychology. My initial interest in psychology wasdue to the want of a better understanding of the often difficult personalities I was forced to deal within my career, so personality studies and behaviorism was a natural fit for me. Much of what I havecompiled in this book is the direct result of over a decade of applying these schools of psychology tothe gender dynamics I’ve experienced personally, as well as the collective experiences of millions ofmen around the world.Connecting DotsWhile I was studying psychology, I felt a natural attraction toward behaviorism.
Like most people, Iwas peripherally familiar with the more touchy-feely branches of psychology like psycho-analysis
birth to their children. Men do bear responsibility for their actions no doubt, but it is ultimately thedecision of the female and her judgment that decides her and her children’s fateSchedules of MatingRejection is better than Regret.While sifting through some of my past posts on the SoSuave forum it hit me; over 90% of what Iadvocate there can be reduced to overcoming a fear of rejection. 90% of the dilemmas AFCs findthemselves in, and a majority of men’s concerns, with the opposite sex find, their roots in the methodsand means they use to reduce their exposure to female rejection.
These are buffers meant to reduce thepotential for this rejection of intimacy.Men of course aren’t the only ones who use buffers – women have their share as well – but I think itwould be much more productive for guys to recognize this propensity in themselves and see themethods they use, and often ego-invest in their personal psychologies, to buffer themselves againstrejection.Virtually every common problem guys deal with finds its basis in these buffers:LDRs - Long Distance Relationships. A guy will entertain an LDR because it was based on aprevious acceptance of intimacy and being no longer convenient (due to distance) the guy will cling tothe “relationship” because it’s a buffer against potential rejection from new women instead ofaccepting the relationship as being finished and maturely re-entering the dating pool. It’s a perceived“sure thing”, even if only rarely rewarding.Playing Friends - Usually after an LJBF rejection where the perception is the potential love interest“might” later become an intimate with time and qualification.
No matter how misguided, the time andeffort spent by a guy in proving himself as the would-be “perfect boyfriend” is a buffer against furtherrejection by new potential females, which is then further compounded by a moralistic sense of duty tobe an actual friend to his LJBF girl. In essence, his buffer against further rejection is his misplaceddedication to the LJBF girl. Another variation of this is the Cap’n-Save-A-Ho dynamic.Emails, IMs and Texts - I should also add lengthy phone conversations to this list as well, but reallyany technology that seemingly increases communication serves as a buffer (for both genders) the moreit limits interpersonal communication.
The rationalization is that it keeps him in constant contact withhis sex interest (which in and of itself is a mistake), but only serves as a buffer against her rejection.The latent perception being that it’s easier to read a rejection (or hear one) than to potentially berejected in person. A lot of guys will counter this with how texts and IM’s are just how thisgeneration plies it’s Game. The difference I’d argue is that when digital communication becomes yourpreferred method of interacting with women, it’s a buffer.Facebook & Online Dating - This one should be fairly obvious for the same reasons as above –Online dating is perhaps the best buffer ever conceived – particularly for less than physically idealwomen.
In fact it’s so effective that businesses can be built upon the common insecurities and fear ofrejection of both sexes.Objectification of Gender - This might be less obvious, but both sexes objectify one another.Naturally when we think of this, the popularized notion is that men objectify women as sex objects,but women have a tendency to objectify men as “success objects” for the same reason. It is easier toaccept rejection from an object than it is to take it from a living, breathing, human being. This is whywe refer to intergender communication as a “game.?
?? We “score” or we get “shot down” notpersonally or emotionally rejected; the buffer is in the language and mental approach.
Idealization of Gender - This is the myth of the “Quality Woman.” The buffer operates in perceivedself-limitations based on a search for an ideal mate. Thus a tendency to fixate on one woman(ONEitis) or one type of woman (a gender Archetype) develops. By limiting to, and/or fixating onone woman (or type) the potential for rejection decreases, while insuring that any real rejection willcome only from what will later be deemed non-qualified women.
Rejection = ‘Low Quality Woman’and is thus disqualified. This works in a similar fashion to the objectification buffer in that the womandelivering the rejection is reduced to an object.Scarcity Mentality - The “Take What I Can Get and Be Glad I Got It” mentality acts as a buffer inthat it works opposite of the Idealization buffer. Deprivation is motivation, and by sticking with the“sure thing” as the “only thing”, the potential for new rejection is then eliminated.Older Women, Younger Women - I should also include certain body types in this category as well,but the buffer is in certain types of women being less likely to reject a man due to their personalcircumstances.
The Cougar dynamic debate has been done into irrelevancy now, but the buffer is thatolder women, acting in accordance with their conditions, will be more inclined to accept theadvances of younger men. In the same vein, very young girls will be more apt to accept the advancesof older men due to naiveté and fat women are easier to become intimate with due to sexualdeprivation. In and of themselves these preferences aren’t buffers per se, but an internalizedpreference for particular women develop by associating that particular type of woman with theminimization for potential rejection.Leagues - This is the opposite of a “high standards” buffer which could be grouped with Scarcity.There is the woman some guys actually fear because she is perceived to be so much more sociallyvaluable than the average guy estimates himself.
Think of a hot, statuesque, corporate director whoruns marathons, travels a lot, has good friends, dresses well, etc, etc, etc. The average frustratedchump tells himself “wow is she out of my league I would just get shot down because I would need topossess A, B & C to be her social status / physical status equal for her to even be interested”. Ergo,the internalized idea of Leagues is a useful rationalization buffer against rejection.Pornography - I realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no-masturbation set, butporn (as men use it) is a buffer against rejection.
Porn doesn’t talk back, porn doesn’t need a fewdrinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It’s convenient,immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or amagazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive-compulsive aspect of it, or the“my girlfriend and I enjoy porn together” reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is itsfacility as a buffer.
I should also add that it’s this very facility that makes women hate it (when theydo). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is renderedvalueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse.It’s unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability without the stress of learning methods to earn itfrom women as a reward.These are really just a few notable examples, but once you become aware of how buffers manifestyou’ll begin to see how and why they are useful against rejection. Buffers are generally the paths ofleast rejection that become ego-invested “preferences.?
?? Buffers aren’t so much about those“preference” as they are about the rejection aversion motivations behind them.At this point you might be thinking, “Well, what the hell, I don’t want to feel rejection, why notemploy buffers against it?” The main reason for embracing rejection is that rejection is better than
regret. Scan back through this short list of buffers; how many of these have become greater, longerterm problems for you than a briefly painful rejection would’ve been? Buffers also have a tendency tocompound upon themselves in that one tends to dovetail into another, or more, until you no longerrealize that they were originally rejection prevention methodologies and gradually become associatedwith your genuine personality. After a long enough period, buffer become “just how I am.?
??Lastly, experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best. Rejection, real, raw, in your face rejection stingslike a bitch. It must be something so intolerable that human beings will devise countless social andpsychological constructs in order to avoid it.
However, there is no better teacher than getting burnedby the stove. As a Man, you are going to face rejection in far more facets of your life than just dealingwith a woman. The buffers you learn in one aspect of your life will be just as encumbering whenthey’re transferred to another aspect of your life.
All of these buffers listed, and many more, becomeindicators of how you confidently deal with adversity. Some make you look like a Beta male pussy,others are subtle and nagging parts of an internalized personality, but dependence upon themincrementally reveals your real character to a woman. Are you Alpha enough to take a rejection onthe chin, smile and confidently come back for more? Or will you run, will you block yourself, willyou hide with convenient buffers?CompensationOne of the higher orders of physical standards women hold for men is height.
There are countlessthreads in the manosphere community that address this, but I think that for the better part it’s notdifficult to observe this in the ‘real world’. I should also add that this is one characteristic that iscentral to the Social Matching Theory in that humans are sensitive to asymmetrics and imbalances.Now, before I get told in so many ways that this isn’t always the case or the “not all girls are likethat” exceptions to the rule, let me start by saying that this isn’t the point of this section. I don’t wantto debate the logistics of why women prefer a taller mate or the tendency for like to attract like in thisrespect.
What I’m on about is really the root of the infamous “short man’s disease.” That’s right, youknow who I’m talking about; the ultimate in compensation for inferiority, the dreaded ‘short man’sdisease.’You know the guy. About 5′ 6′′, pounding out the weight on the bench press. Bad ass attitude, hangswith the bigger guys (which is pretty much all of them) and throws his ego around.
What a tool, right?But if you think this is only limited to short men, you’re making a mistake. You see, in so many wayswe all compensate for deficiencies. I once read a thread on another “non-community” forum that sawfit to start a topic asking why men lie and it got me to thinking why any of us lie, man or woman.
Atthe time I’d also been fielding a lot of questions regarding issues we kind of take for granted afterhaving discussed them to death in the manosphere; one of those being the nature of personality andone’s ability to change their own or have it changed by circumstance, or often both. I think it’s a tragicmiscalculation on our part to think of personality as static, unchangeable or to question theingenuousness of that change, but more tragic is the doubting of ourselves for that change.One simple truism that a lot of people love to use as their convenient escape clause is the JBY (justbe yourself) notion. This of course is just what ones says as advice when they really don’t know whatelse to say.
Given that though, what is it that makes a personality shift ‘genuine’? Any number of usprobably know an individual who began acting differently at some point in their life. This can be theresult of some kind of tragedy or trauma (think PTSD) or it can be that the individual felt a need to
traduzir para o português brasileiro para minha pesquisa
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The Rational Male.pdf
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The Rational MaleRollo TomassiThe Rational Male, first edition copyright © 2013 Rollo Tomassi.All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without prior permission of the publisher and author.ISBN: 1492777862ISBN - 13: 978-1492777861Published by Counterflow Media LLC, NevadaDesign and layout by Rollo Tomassi.The BasicsThere is no ONE 3The Cardinal Rule of Relationships 8Truth to Power 9 The Desire Dynamic 13Imagination 14Schedules of Mating 16Buffers 20Compensation 22Alpha 25Defining Alpha 27The Origins of Alpha 30The Contextual Alpha 33Plate TheoryPlate Theory I – Abundance & Scarcity 40Plate Theory II –Non-Exclusivity 43Plate Theory III – Transitioning 47Plate Theory IV – Goal-State Monogamy 52Plate Theory V – Lady’s Game 55Plate Theory VI – Scarcity to Abundance 58Plugged InAFC – Average Frustrated Chump 63Playing Friends 65Letting Go of Invisible Friends 68Enter White Knight 70The Honor System 72The Savior Schema 74Inter-gender Friendship 76UnpluggingDispelling the Magic 83 Identity Crisis 85Dream Girls and Children with Dynamite 88Kill the Beta 90Appreciation 95Dream Killers 98Have A Look 101The Five Stages of Unplugging 103
The Bitter Taste of the Red Pill 104GameThe Evolution of Game 111Rewriting the Rules 117Navigating the SMP 120Just Be Yourself 125The Nice Guy - Jerk Spectrum 128Beta Game 131The Pheromonal Beta 134Dread Games 138The Meta Game 141CommunicationThe Medium is the Message 147Just Get It 151Dijo Sin Hablar 154The Horse’s Mouth 155Qualities of the Prince 157Social ConventionsOperative Social Conventions 165AFC Social Conventions 170The Paradox of Commitment 174Bitter Misogynists 176HypergamyThe Disposables 183War Brides 186Mrs. Hyde 188Hypergamy Doesn’t Care 192Relational Equity 194The Hypergamy Conspiracy 197Women & Regret 200The Pet 202The Iron Rules of TomassiIron Rule I 209Iron Rule II 212Iron Rule III 214Iron Rule IV 219Iron Rule V 221Iron Rule VI 224Iron Rule VII 228Iron Rule VIII 229Iron Rule IX 232
MythologyThe Myth of the Lonely Old Man 239The Myth of Women & Sex 241The Myth of the ‘Good Girl’ 244The Myth of the Biological Clock 247The Myth of Male Looks 249The Myth of Feminine SMV 253Of Love and War 257The Feminine ImperativeThe Feminine Reality 265The Feminine Mystique 270The Wall 272The Threat 275Positive Masculinity vs.
Equalism 278AfterwordContentsIntroductionIn January of 2001 I was entering a state university for the first time in my life at the ripe age of 32.My relatively late-life enrollment was the result of a what I believed then was a misspent youth and Iwas atoning for the indiscretions of what I call my ‘rock star’ 20’s. I had a lot of catching up to do thanks to the decisions I’d made in my early and mid-twenties and asense of incompleteness that I felt at the time.In hindsight I’m glad I did return to school, better late than never, because I was learning the intrinsicvalue of an education. I can remember listening to the grumblings of guys in my class who were tenyears my junior saying, “What the hell do I need to learn this shit for? It won’t help me in the job I’mstudying for.?
?? I suppose I might’ve felt the same way at 22 if I hadn’t been more concerned withplaying the next gig in the next band I was in on a weekend in Hollywood. I could never haveappreciated the value of being an educated person. While a good job is definitely a concrete goal ofbettering oneself, being educated, on a great many subjects, and learning how to learn, is its ownreward.Although I didn’t attend a ‘liberal arts university’ per se, my degree is in fine art.
However afterhaving worked in design, advertising, marketing and branding throughout my professional life I knewthat my minor (if later a double major) had to be in psychology. My initial interest in psychology wasdue to the want of a better understanding of the often difficult personalities I was forced to deal within my career, so personality studies and behaviorism was a natural fit for me. Much of what I havecompiled in this book is the direct result of over a decade of applying these schools of psychology tothe gender dynamics I’ve experienced personally, as well as the collective experiences of millions ofmen around the world.Connecting DotsWhile I was studying psychology, I felt a natural attraction toward behaviorism.
Like most people, Iwas peripherally familiar with the more touchy-feely branches of psychology like psycho-analysis
birth to their children. Men do bear responsibility for their actions no doubt, but it is ultimately thedecision of the female and her judgment that decides her and her children’s fateSchedules of MatingRejection is better than Regret.While sifting through some of my past posts on the SoSuave forum it hit me; over 90% of what Iadvocate there can be reduced to overcoming a fear of rejection. 90% of the dilemmas AFCs findthemselves in, and a majority of men’s concerns, with the opposite sex find, their roots in the methodsand means they use to reduce their exposure to female rejection.
These are buffers meant to reduce thepotential for this rejection of intimacy.Men of course aren’t the only ones who use buffers – women have their share as well – but I think itwould be much more productive for guys to recognize this propensity in themselves and see themethods they use, and often ego-invest in their personal psychologies, to buffer themselves againstrejection.Virtually every common problem guys deal with finds its basis in these buffers:LDRs - Long Distance Relationships. A guy will entertain an LDR because it was based on aprevious acceptance of intimacy and being no longer convenient (due to distance) the guy will cling tothe “relationship” because it’s a buffer against potential rejection from new women instead ofaccepting the relationship as being finished and maturely re-entering the dating pool. It’s a perceived“sure thing”, even if only rarely rewarding.Playing Friends - Usually after an LJBF rejection where the perception is the potential love interest“might” later become an intimate with time and qualification.
No matter how misguided, the time andeffort spent by a guy in proving himself as the would-be “perfect boyfriend” is a buffer against furtherrejection by new potential females, which is then further compounded by a moralistic sense of duty tobe an actual friend to his LJBF girl. In essence, his buffer against further rejection is his misplaceddedication to the LJBF girl. Another variation of this is the Cap’n-Save-A-Ho dynamic.Emails, IMs and Texts - I should also add lengthy phone conversations to this list as well, but reallyany technology that seemingly increases communication serves as a buffer (for both genders) the moreit limits interpersonal communication.
The rationalization is that it keeps him in constant contact withhis sex interest (which in and of itself is a mistake), but only serves as a buffer against her rejection.The latent perception being that it’s easier to read a rejection (or hear one) than to potentially berejected in person. A lot of guys will counter this with how texts and IM’s are just how thisgeneration plies it’s Game. The difference I’d argue is that when digital communication becomes yourpreferred method of interacting with women, it’s a buffer.Facebook & Online Dating - This one should be fairly obvious for the same reasons as above –Online dating is perhaps the best buffer ever conceived – particularly for less than physically idealwomen.
In fact it’s so effective that businesses can be built upon the common insecurities and fear ofrejection of both sexes.Objectification of Gender - This might be less obvious, but both sexes objectify one another.Naturally when we think of this, the popularized notion is that men objectify women as sex objects,but women have a tendency to objectify men as “success objects” for the same reason. It is easier toaccept rejection from an object than it is to take it from a living, breathing, human being. This is whywe refer to intergender communication as a “game.?
?? We “score” or we get “shot down” notpersonally or emotionally rejected; the buffer is in the language and mental approach.
Idealization of Gender - This is the myth of the “Quality Woman.” The buffer operates in perceivedself-limitations based on a search for an ideal mate. Thus a tendency to fixate on one woman(ONEitis) or one type of woman (a gender Archetype) develops. By limiting to, and/or fixating onone woman (or type) the potential for rejection decreases, while insuring that any real rejection willcome only from what will later be deemed non-qualified women.
Rejection = ‘Low Quality Woman’and is thus disqualified. This works in a similar fashion to the objectification buffer in that the womandelivering the rejection is reduced to an object.Scarcity Mentality - The “Take What I Can Get and Be Glad I Got It” mentality acts as a buffer inthat it works opposite of the Idealization buffer. Deprivation is motivation, and by sticking with the“sure thing” as the “only thing”, the potential for new rejection is then eliminated.Older Women, Younger Women - I should also include certain body types in this category as well,but the buffer is in certain types of women being less likely to reject a man due to their personalcircumstances.
The Cougar dynamic debate has been done into irrelevancy now, but the buffer is thatolder women, acting in accordance with their conditions, will be more inclined to accept theadvances of younger men. In the same vein, very young girls will be more apt to accept the advancesof older men due to naiveté and fat women are easier to become intimate with due to sexualdeprivation. In and of themselves these preferences aren’t buffers per se, but an internalizedpreference for particular women develop by associating that particular type of woman with theminimization for potential rejection.Leagues - This is the opposite of a “high standards” buffer which could be grouped with Scarcity.There is the woman some guys actually fear because she is perceived to be so much more sociallyvaluable than the average guy estimates himself.
Think of a hot, statuesque, corporate director whoruns marathons, travels a lot, has good friends, dresses well, etc, etc, etc. The average frustratedchump tells himself “wow is she out of my league I would just get shot down because I would need topossess A, B & C to be her social status / physical status equal for her to even be interested”. Ergo,the internalized idea of Leagues is a useful rationalization buffer against rejection.Pornography - I realize this will draw some fire from the masturbation / no-masturbation set, butporn (as men use it) is a buffer against rejection.
Porn doesn’t talk back, porn doesn’t need a fewdrinks to loosen up nor does porn require any social skills to produce rewards. It’s convenient,immediate, sexual release that requires nothing more than a PC and an internet connection (or amagazine if you prefer the analog means). We can argue the obsessive-compulsive aspect of it, or the“my girlfriend and I enjoy porn together” reasoning, but for the single guy the root reasoning is itsfacility as a buffer.
I should also add that it’s this very facility that makes women hate it (when theydo). Porn gives a guy his reward for free; a reward that should be her single best agency is renderedvalueless when a man can get off to an infinite variety of sexual experience at the click of a mouse.It’s unlimited access to unlimited sexual availability without the stress of learning methods to earn itfrom women as a reward.These are really just a few notable examples, but once you become aware of how buffers manifestyou’ll begin to see how and why they are useful against rejection. Buffers are generally the paths ofleast rejection that become ego-invested “preferences.?
?? Buffers aren’t so much about those“preference” as they are about the rejection aversion motivations behind them.At this point you might be thinking, “Well, what the hell, I don’t want to feel rejection, why notemploy buffers against it?” The main reason for embracing rejection is that rejection is better than
regret. Scan back through this short list of buffers; how many of these have become greater, longerterm problems for you than a briefly painful rejection would’ve been? Buffers also have a tendency tocompound upon themselves in that one tends to dovetail into another, or more, until you no longerrealize that they were originally rejection prevention methodologies and gradually become associatedwith your genuine personality. After a long enough period, buffer become “just how I am.?
??Lastly, experience teaches harsh, but it teaches best. Rejection, real, raw, in your face rejection stingslike a bitch. It must be something so intolerable that human beings will devise countless social andpsychological constructs in order to avoid it.
However, there is no better teacher than getting burnedby the stove. As a Man, you are going to face rejection in far more facets of your life than just dealingwith a woman. The buffers you learn in one aspect of your life will be just as encumbering whenthey’re transferred to another aspect of your life.
All of these buffers listed, and many more, becomeindicators of how you confidently deal with adversity. Some make you look like a Beta male pussy,others are subtle and nagging parts of an internalized personality, but dependence upon themincrementally reveals your real character to a woman. Are you Alpha enough to take a rejection onthe chin, smile and confidently come back for more? Or will you run, will you block yourself, willyou hide with convenient buffers?CompensationOne of the higher orders of physical standards women hold for men is height.
There are countlessthreads in the manosphere community that address this, but I think that for the better part it’s notdifficult to observe this in the ‘real world’. I should also add that this is one characteristic that iscentral to the Social Matching Theory in that humans are sensitive to asymmetrics and imbalances.Now, before I get told in so many ways that this isn’t always the case or the “not all girls are likethat” exceptions to the rule, let me start by saying that this isn’t the point of this section. I don’t wantto debate the logistics of why women prefer a taller mate or the tendency for like to attract like in thisrespect.
What I’m on about is really the root of the infamous “short man’s disease.” That’s right, youknow who I’m talking about; the ultimate in compensation for inferiority, the dreaded ‘short man’sdisease.’You know the guy. About 5′ 6′′, pounding out the weight on the bench press. Bad ass attitude, hangswith the bigger guys (which is pretty much all of them) and throws his ego around.
What a tool, right?But if you think this is only limited to short men, you’re making a mistake. You see, in so many wayswe all compensate for deficiencies. I once read a thread on another “non-community” forum that sawfit to start a topic asking why men lie and it got me to thinking why any of us lie, man or woman.
Atthe time I’d also been fielding a lot of questions regarding issues we kind of take for granted afterhaving discussed them to death in the manosphere; one of those being the nature of personality andone’s ability to change their own or have it changed by circumstance, or often both. I think it’s a tragicmiscalculation on our part to think of personality as static, unchangeable or to question theingenuousness of that change, but more tragic is the doubting of ourselves for that change.One simple truism that a lot of people love to use as their convenient escape clause is the JBY (justbe yourself) notion. This of course is just what ones says as advice when they really don’t know whatelse to say.
Given that though, what is it that makes a personality shift ‘genuine’? Any number of usprobably know an individual who began acting differently at some point in their life. This can be theresult of some kind of tragedy or trauma (think PTSD) or it can be that the individual felt a need to
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